AND  wasn’t even commenting.  I was simply reading a Blogger blog.  It totally killed my work computer.  They spent half the day trying to clear the virus, and once they realized they couldn’t, the next 2 hours configuring a new pc for me.  It was AWFUL, including the internet porn sites that was the only thing it would do when you tried to click on anything (even not on the internet.)  ugh.

so, I have to leave Blogger.  And I won’t be reading/responding to Blogger blogs while at work anymore.  (only nights/weekends/pre-dawn.)  I do NOT have time to be dealing with this, this weekend.  I’ll be moving to wordpress.org.  If I can figure it out.  It’s a hodge podge because this Blogger is linked to my domain, and I’m not sure how that will work.  godaddy.com has some good stuff, but I’m waiting to hear back from them.  My blogfairy graphics might disappear for a while until I can get this whole mess sorted out.  Sorry I wasn’t able to visit anyone today. (after about 8 am my time when it happened.)  And I’ll have to probably spend what internet time I have tonight/this weekend working on this change.  

Sad times. 

OK, that is too damned adorable!  If I had more people coming over, I’d attempt to make that.  LOL

Anyhow, “the big game” is Sunday.  Many of you may not be interested, view it, or participate in the annual food and drink gorging associated with the Super Bowl.  But for those of you who are/do….it’s a land mine, isn’t it?  Well, it certainly is this year as we try to avoid junk food.  But the Super Bowl is about junk food every bit as much as it is about the NFL championship football game and awesome new commercials.  The question is, how will we handle it, those of us who will be watching?  Whether we are hosting an event (I am, albiet small)…or attending a party, or simply viewing it at home with loved ones (that’s me, my small family get together, but I’m turning it into a party.)  Do we serve/eat/avoid the junk food, or tip toe through it?  Well, here’s my game plan:

1.  Having my mom, my oldest daughter, and oldest grandson over. 

2.  turning it into the party, because we are playing a few typical football betting games for which I have small, football-related prizes for the winners.  Five winners in all.  Five people, but not a one-prize-per-person set up.  Technically, one person could win all 5 gifts.  Not likely, but possible.

So how am I doing this?  I’m going to have a mix of junk and healthy foods.  I’m planning on serving:

1.  shrimp cocktail.  This is healthy food.  And uber delicious.

2.  BBQ wings.  OK, not great, but by no means hideous junk food.  Some nutritional value, if not over-indulged

3.  my hot dip.  It calls for bean dip, sour cream (I use light), cream cheese (I use light), salsa, chopped chives,  (all mixed together) and topped with cheese (I use light) and cooked until bubbly.  Served with tortilla chips.  (I’m also serving celery sticks with it.)  I obviously am making this as low-cal as possible, and if I stick to mostly celery stick dipping, it shouldn’t be a deal-breaker for me or anyone else claiming (haha-my eldest daughter) to wanting to lose weight.

4.  Pizza rolls.  Per Mr. Sunny’s request.  They hold NO charm for me.  No temptation whatsoever.

5.  later, the meal will be homemade carne asada.  No tortillas for me, but they’ll be available for everyone else.

6.  Dessert:  brownie bites, and homemade Peanut butter Rice Krispy treats with a topping of chocolate chips and butterscotch chips melted together and spread on top.  Mr. Sunny requested those.  Brownie bites are my choice.  I imagine I’ll have 2-3 brownie bites, and maybe, maybe, a one inch square of the treat.  We’ll see.

Drinks:  BYOB.  I’ll be having 1-2 Michelob Ultra beers, and plenty of decaf home-brewed tropical iced tea.

So, as you can see, there is a nice mix of dietary choices I’m serving.  I’m not going to be a Saint:  they are all playing on the field.  hahahahaha  (football fans will get that, the rest of you….not so much.) 

I could play the martyr, but I’m not gonna.  Not to my family/guests, and not to myself.  I will work towards being the Portions Queen on Sunday.  I will avoid the pitfalls (too many chips, too much dessert), and focus on the more healthy choices.  I will enjoy the get together more, and remove the food from being the focus for me.  Part of living a healthy life is focusing more on group gathering comraderie, and less on the food in front of you.  That’s simple enough.  And when you are tempted (and you and I will be, over and over again) to grab that extra whatever that, in our hearts, we KNOW is wrong for us AND our long term goals, to think about how we will feel on Monday.  and Tuesday.  And Wednesday.  IS the 30 seconds or less of eating that temptation WORTH days of paying for it?  hmmmm?  IS IT?

NO.  No, no, a MILLION times no.  REMEMBER THAT as your hand reaches out beyond a tolerable amount.  When you start to enter that MORE THAN I SHOULD BE EATING terrritory, DON’T DO IT.

Remember to stay true to your goals!!!  You’ll be a much, much happier and proud camper, come Monday, if you do!

You know, when I got the Happiness Blog Award, I was in a rush that day and didn’t really put the time it deserved into listing 10 things that make me happy.  NOT that the ten things I listed didn’t/don’t make me happy; they all do.  But I want to put more into that, now.  I want to talk about attitude, and happiness.  About choosing, consciously or not, whether to live a happy life (with whatever life gives you), or choosing (consciously or not) to struggle daily for something that always seems right out of one’s grasp.  Because truly, it IS a choice.  Whether you consider it the old ‘glass have full or half empty’, the euphemism is true.  We choose our state of mind.  I’ll take it a step further:  NOT choosing a state of mind is the same as choosing one.  Granted, due to biochemicals or simply shitty luck, some people seem to be pre-destined to have a crappy attitude/outlook, while others seem to be wearing rose-colored glasses no matter what.  But everyone, EVERYONE has a choice.  If you truly believe you don’t have a choice, then get thyself post-haste to a doctor and see about being medically treated.  But for most of us, it’s a combination of life events (big and small), and attitude.  You can be happy, and even on crappy days, make the best of bad situations, or….you can be unhappy and bitch and moan about everything, even the good stuff.  Sure, sometimes we get swallowed up in events and our attitude can morph away from what it normally is.  At those times, I think we need to find a safe, quiet place as soon as humanly possible, go within, work a few things out, calm ourselves (in non-food ways), and get a little closer back to center so that we can enjoy life a little better.  THAT, my friends, is why our list of ten things that make us happy IS so important.  We ought to all take the time to really do this little exercise, and then print and clip our list and keep it close in times of emotional need, as a mini ‘basket list’ of things to aim to do As.Soon.As.Possible.  For that reason, I suggest listing things that are doable, and doable in a short time frame.  So that we can grab one of them and do them when we most emotionally need it to work our way back towards the center, emotionally.

So, without further ado, here is my revised list of Ten Things That Make Me Happy:

1.  a catnap.  Preferrably with a nice afghan tucked around me.  With or without a dog (or two) cuddled up against me.

2.  Swinging.  I LOVE TO SWING.  Get myself to a park, grab an empty swing, and just swing.  Feel the cool or warm breeze in my hair, get high enough to lean back, close my eyes, and LIVE IN THE MOMENT.

3.  Sit near enough to the ocean, shaded (because I’m lily white LOL), and close my eyes occasionally to better appreciate the calming nature of the sound of ocean waves.  The view is always wonderful, but the sound….oh how the sound draws me in and brings a sense of peace and belonging to me.  Like truly nothing else.  That’s why our ‘white noise’ air machine by the bed is always set to “waves.”

4.  Light a nicely scented (Yankee) candle, put on some soft playing “smooth jazz”, and curl up with a good book.  A fiction book.  Non-fiction won’t do.  Preferrably out in the shade of my patio, on our uber comfortable wicker and cushioned patio furniture.  (remind me to post a picture some day of it.  I chose it, instead of a trip to Italy, once.  Because I knew, over time, I’d get much more gratification from it than a brief trip to Italy.)

5.  A good, warm cup of decaf Seattle’s Best, with 1 Equal packet and a dollop of sugar-free Hazelnut Coffemate creamer.

6.  TV.  I love TV.  I have so many favorites, and even when none of them are on, I can turn to HGTV and have a blast.  Sometimes for hours on end.

7.  Read your blogs.  I’m always warmed, and often times motivated, by you, my friends. 

8.  Dance.  Nine months later, countless thousands of hours logged doing it for exercise, and I still LOVE.TO.DANCE.

9.  Enjoy breaking “bread” with my girlfriends, my husband, or my family.  I have finally realized it really DOESN’T matter WHAT we are eating.  What matters is enjoying quality time together.  Laughing, and just enjoying our time together.

10.  Finding artistic ways to entertain myself.  I love photography, I love creating custom silk flower arrangements….but as I write this, I realize I need to discover a new means.  But I want it to be something that allows me to create something that someone can use; me or someone I care about.  Knitting or crochet are first to come to my mind, but I don’t think so.  I’m actually, for the first time, thinking about jewelry making.  I think I need to research that.  I don’t mind an initial outlay of money, but I don’t want to spend a huge sum.  Perhaps jewelry making won’t be it.  But now, as of this moment, I am in the hunt.   I love doing web design/graphics, but the artistic abilities to actually draw, did not get passed down to me from my maternal side (which actually boasts two artists-for-money aunts.)  But I need to spend some time, going within my heart, and then researching, my options.  I need this.

See?  Create your own list of things you can do, easily and cheaply, and nothing that will hurt your health….to bring yourself within, bring joy to your life, bring you back to center.  Your own Zen list, if you will.

Have a great day, and stay true to your goals!

Here’s why today is a splurge day:

1.  my boss is ‘paying off’ a bet this morning; bringing any Starbuck’s coffee beverage of my choice to me.  Now, I AM choosing a skinny caramel latte, which will range from 100-130 calories, depending upon the size he brings me.  So it’s not an awful splurge, but, it’s clearly 100-130 calories I don’t normally have.  I’m going to eat only 3 almonds this morning instead of my normal 16-18.  That ought to make up for most of the calories.

2.  I’m going to lunch with three girlfriend co-workers at a local restaurant that specializes in what they call an Irish Sundae.  It’s a baked potato loaded with butter, sauteed mushrooms, prime roast beef, and topped with chives.  AND DAMMIT, I’M GOING TO HAVE IT!  I haven’t had a (whole) baked potato since LAST APRIL.  I’ve been there since then, but always ordered a salad, dressing on the side.  TODAY, I plan on having the Irish Sundae.  Not holding back on anything.  simply.enjoying.it.  Period. 

Now, I probably won’t have dinner.  But I might.  Mr. Sunny is grilling chicken breasts with BBQ, and I really don’t want to miss that.  So unless I’m still stuffed (a distinct possibility), I’ll probably have at least the chicken breast.  I’ll probably only have 1 Nugget tonight instead of 2.  I won’t get my half hour of dancing in at lunch, obviously, so I’ll need to do at least 45 min. tonight.  But, other than that, I’m simply going to indulge today.  It won’t kill me.  Oh sure, I might see a momentary gain of a pound, even two, but it won’t kill me.  I’ll hop right back on the horse tomorrow and get back to my normal regimen.  But today, I just

WANT.TO.SPLURGE.

I own my evil.  LOL

Have a great day, and stay true to your goals!  (she said, trying not to feel everso slightly guilty.) 

Hey, once in a while, a girl just has to have fun.  One loaded baked potato in nine months ain’t gonna kill me, or my overall plans/journey/success.

And I’m not talking the perfume.  I’m talking the ‘mindset.’  You know, like above.  It seems to me that first I was obsessed with eating, now, seventy pounds lighter I still am, but just different types of food.  Sure, now it’s healthy food, instead of just what seems tastiest and available at the moment.  Still, I feel every bit as obsessed with food now, as I was when I was really fat.  In some ways, even more.  Because now the obsession about calories/carbs is where it wasn’t before; totally in the picture now, too.  I AM healthier, but sometimes I wonder if I’m really any mentally healthier, you know?  I have read enough about you guys to know you feel this now and again, too.  So what’s the deal?

Well, part of the deal is that the world we now live in REWARDS obsessive behavior, to a degree.  Check email.  Check voicemail.  Turn on a computer to check for instant voting results.  Instantaneous news.  In our careers, we spend a LOT of time doing just one or two things; we are all so specialized now.  And we are rewarded for it!  Being a workaholic is still a ‘holic’ and indicates obsession.  TV can create instant panic.  If we miss a day’s worth of blogs, we feel out of touch.  We can hit the refresh button over and over until the Oscar nominations are posted, scores are updated, etc. etc. etc.  The world’s computers now totally feed our obsessive personalities.  Even if we didn’t want to be obsessive or didn’t have those tendencies, we live in a world now that feeds it.

But, as above, it’s not necessarily bad.  Being organized, up-to-date and methodical are good things.  Being a slacker is a bad thing.  The line between pathological and acceptable forms of the same behavior is a very hazy thing, especially when it comes to obsession.

So what do we do with our obsessive tendencies?  If we’ve been a food addict, in whatever form, and manage to gain control and lose all of the extra weight, but still obsess about the number on the scale or the calories or ‘point’ count for the day….we are still obsessed.  We are just exhibiting it in different manners.  But if the current manner supports a healthy weight, even if it might not be 100% mentally healthy, is it ok?  Where do we draw THAT line?

I don’t know.  I’m just asking.  And trying to work myself into this new world that is hazy between needing/wanting to lose that last 10-15 pounds, and so-called maintenance for life.  Numbers still matter, still count.  I think, frankly, they will always matter and count.  I’m not a naturally thin person by nature.  I’ll always need to be on top of the numbers.  It’s a control issue for sure, as well.  I guess I’m asking, is it “okay” to be obsessed with my calories?  At what point does taking care of my health/weight spill over into caring too much?  Being “too” obsessed with the numbers, the food, or the results?  I honestly don’t know.  I don’t have the answers.

Or something like that.  LOL  Anyhow, all of my size medium sweaters?  The arms are too long.  About 1-2 inches too long.  I think I know why:  my upper arms aren’t as fat, so they don’t hold up more sweater.  It’s pretty clear that any new sweaters will now need to be petite size.  I prefer the longer length of regular sweaters, but folding up the sleeves is stoopid.  LOL  Nice problem, kinda, though, to have!

Other than that, don’t have much.  I am wearing my new size 6 petite slacks; they fit fine.  So does the new bra.  However, I guess I screwed up and got hip hugger panties at VS instead of briefs.  I don’t like them riding so low.  And I already washed all of them.    My bad.  I think, since I can’t return them (?), I will save them for shorts season.  I ordered the right briefs online.

THANK YOU, June, for the Happy 101 Blog Award!

The rules are:  post ten things that make me happy, and try to do one of them each day.  And pass it on to ten other bloggers.

My ten:

1.  snuggling with my husband 

2 and 3:  laughing with either of my two grandsons

4 and 5:  having lunch with either of my two daughters

6.  Friday lunches with the girls at work

7.  enjoying sunsets (the pretty ones)

8.  enjoying a warm fire

9.  listening to the waves

10.  Slowly, deliciously, eating a milk chocolate Nugget

ALL of you are deserving of this award, but this time, I’ll pass it on to:

Anna

Renee

Sunny Daze

Lola Fierce

Mary (The Inner Weigh)

Lynn (needs the pick-me-up?)

Tiffany

Ann (99 Pounds)

Rebecca

Waisting Time

Everyone, have a great day, and stay true to your goals!

It’s about time!  Only took 3 full weeks to break the plateau!!!  I’m a full pound lighter than yesterday, clocking in at 129.8!  And that included 2 chili dogs for dinner last night!  (ok, they were ‘lite’ hot dogs, and only 1/2 C of chili, and no buns, but still!)  I was meticulous with my calories, and they came in right at 1,300.  

GOOD BYE 130′s!!!!  Saw way too much of you!  I hope I can lose another 1-1.5 pounds this week, so I have some wiggle room for Super Bowl Sunday.  Whether or not, I’m already planning the menu to be very much inclusive of great low-carb snacks that I love.  A few other things for those not low carbing, but c’est la vie.  I’m just tickled pink to finally break this plateau!

We are grilling steaks tonight.  I’ve created my own marinade.  IF it tastes good, I’ll print the ingredients tomorrow.  LOL

Well, off to clean the house, since I’ll be babysitting grand-toddler Jack most of next Saturday, and this is the best chance to clean everything for the mini Super Bowl party.

Have a great rest of your weekend!  Stay true to your goals!

That’s one of the 5 tops I bought last night!  Plus 2 Daisy Fuentes short-sleeved, form-fitting knit tops.  Here’s one of them:

the other one was in a dark, chocolate brown.  

Plus, 2 pairs of the jeans I love:  they are going out, and I wanted to snag every one they had in my size.  

I have to tell you, the form-fitting knit tops and especially the printed tops are SO not me!  (well, not FAT Sunny!)  I have worn nothing, exclusively nothing but dark-colored solid J.C. Penney tops for at least half a dozen or more (fat) years.  NOTHING to draw attention to my fatness.  (Like dark clothes can hide the obesity.  Well, at least I was hoping dark (most black) solid tops were masking it a bit.)  So to be buying form-fitting knit (thin rib sweater) tops AND bold prints, with a mini belt, are SO SO not like me!  Let alone the brand Daisy Fuentes!  I felt like a kid in the candy store!  And to be buying the SMALLEST size petite jeans they had?  WOW!  I could’ve bought more, but I only had so much of my clothes cash with me.  LOL

Stein Mart is having a big sale today, too.  I’m going to hit them, either before or after Victoria’s Secret.  woo hoo!!!!!

Weight wise, I’m “back down” to 130.8.  I got as high as 131.2 on Wed., but pulled the reigns back in from the 1,500 calorie extravangza’s I’d been on, back to 1,200.   I’m comfortable at 1,200, with the occasional 1,500 day here or there.  So that’s where I’m gonna ‘live.’ 

So, fun clothes shopping this morning, a quick trip to the market for weekend food on the way home, and then late this afternoon we are going to see Avatar again, but this time in 3-D.  I’m a little nervous about that; I’ve NEVER seen a good 3-D flick, but I’m hearing this is amazing, (first time we saw it non-3-D) so we are gonna take the chance.

Have a great day, and stay true to your goals!

Does it get better than this?  I don’t think so!!!!  Well, yes it does!  I have a $50 Victoria Secret’s gift card, so the bulk of those panties will be freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!  hehehe

And tomorrow, we are going to see Avatar, for the 2nd time.  I can’t wait!  If you haven’t seen it:  GO SEE IT.  Best movie ever!

Beyond that, gotta clean the house for the Super Bowl.  Even though it’s a week away, next Saturday I’m babysitting my youngest grandson most of the day, so won’t be time to do it then. 

I also hope to break the 130-131 trap this weekend, or for sure sometime next week, because I’d love to have a pound or two for Super Bowl Sunday.  LOL

Have a great weekend, and stay true to your goals!

We all do it.  You know what I’m talking about:  a little bit here, a tiny piece there.  The degree to which we do it…is in direct proportion to how overweight we are.  Own your evil.  And that means not just talking about it; it means DOING something about it!  It’s the first step on the road to Snitch Recovery.™